Constructive Communication Techniques for Successful Couples
Every couple experiences disagreements at different points in their lives, but the nature of these disagreements varies. Some successful couples manage to handle conflicts well, creating a positive atmosphere, ensuring that their relationship remains strong even in heated discussions.
In this section ofSelMagzwe will explain what successful couples avoid in their arguments.
They don’t discuss multiple topics at once.
This definitely ruins everything. Many people switch topics constantly during conflicts, which escalates the struggle and prevents them from identifying the root of the main issue.
When arguing, it’s important to focus on one topic at a time, express needs and criticisms, diagnose the issue, resolve it, and then move on to the next point.
They avoid using language that shames the other person.
When you feelanxiousor angry, you might accuse the other person by saying they did something wrong, which puts them on the defensive. Successful couples typically avoid this accusatory language; instead, they use “I” statements to express how they feel rather than blaming their partner.
They don’t use always or never terms.
Another mistake couples make during disagreements is using words like always, never, or every day, which can exaggerate the issue.
These words put the other person on the defensive andcreate feelings of inadequacyas if a huge problem has arisen and everything is unsolvable. However, successful couples never inflate issues and recognize that everyone makes mistakes without generalizing.
They do not cross their arms or avoid eye contact.
When we are angry, we often lose awareness of our body language; however, body language is hugely impactful in such situations. Couples often clench their fists, avoid eye contact, cross their arms, or point fingers at each other, which worsens the situation. Successful couples are very aware of their body language; they avoid behaviors that could be interpreted as insulting and strive to maintain a positive connection.They don’t criticize their spouse harshly.Criticism exists in every relationship, but when it’s too harsh and sometimes unfair, it worsens the situation. Successful couples usually provide constructive criticism. Their critiques are few but impactful, focusing only on a specific negative behavior rather than attacking the person as a whole.
They also acknowledge and mention the positive aspects of each other’s behavior.
They do not insult each other.
When arguments escalate, individuals become very emotionally involved. They may swear, insult one another, or even utter hurtful names, which is detrimental to a marriage, leading to forgetting the main issue and wanting to hurt each other. However, successful couples pause when they feel intense anger,
identifying their emotions before expressing them. They remain silent so as not to say something they might regret later.
They don’t argue at the wrong time and place.
Sometimes people are unaware of the appropriate time and conditions to discuss their needs and problems. They might argue in front of others or their children, which is embarrassing and harmful. Successful couples agree on suitable times and places for discussions, ensuring no third party witnesses their arguments.
They don’t argue when stressed, hungry, or tired.
All the mentioned states create negative feelings and frustration, especially if they are also unhappy. Therefore, they should avoid complaining too much, but successful couples ensure their basic needs like eating, drinking, resting, and relaxing are addressed before discussing problems rationally.
They do not argue when they need a break.Sometimes discussions prolong, leaving both parties worn out and impatient. Successful couples take a break in such cases, distancing themselves for some peace and allowing time to think, while unsuccessful individuals often escalate their disputes.They do not remain silent for too long.
Some couples think that the more they remain silent, the better the situation will be, but this is not always the case. Excessive silence can be insulting; you might avoid talking to your partner, leave the room, and create distance. Successful couples prioritize a healthy relationship and seek good solutions without distancing themselves.
Instead of acting cold towards each other, they actively talk about their feelings directly without fear, which prevents distance between them.
They do not overly focus on their differences.
All human beings are different from one another. It doesn’t matter how much love and care exist between them. Therefore, you must accept behavioral and personality differences with your partner without dwelling on them excessively.
What successful couples do is focus on their commonalities and understandings, viewing differences as a source of variety and excitement in life, accepting them as part of their relationship.
Couples
Arguments
Debates
Marital Conflicts
