EducationApologyMethods recommended by psychologists for teaching children
Apologizing is not easy, even for adults. As parents, teaching your child how to say sorry can be very challenging because children are naturally empathetic but may not fully understand the concept of apologizing. Most parents strive to teach their kids how to apologize; however, an incorrect method may lead to unsuccessful outcomes.
Children are inherently empathetic; you might have seen tears welling up in their eyes while watching a sad cartoon. This is because they are very compassionate beings, yet they do not behave like adults and may not follow established social rules.
As a parent, you must teach your child to behave according to social norms. In this section of Family Plus.SelMagzWe will introduce practical tips for teaching children to apologize.
How to Teach Children to Apologize?
To apologize, you must first take responsibility for your actions and understand the feelings of others. Apologize in front of your child for any wrongdoing you committed.
Avoid phrases like: “Apologize to me and don’t talk to me” or “I’m waiting for you to say sorry.” Sometimes the words you use are things you haven’t even thought about.
Do you believe that a child should apologize out of obligation? The truth is that you should not force your child to do something because they will learn to follow their parents out of necessity.
The ultimate goal is for the child to take responsibility for their mistakes and acknowledge the wrongdoing they have done.
Help your child calm down:
Often, when a child needs to apologize,Angerthey can become uncontrollable. Asking your child to apologize at that moment can be harmful for the following reasons:
- The child may not understand why they should apologize.
- The child may evenAnxietyexperience more anxiety.
- The child will not learn anything from what happened.
Instead, take a deep breath, approach your child, and remove them from the situation where the conflict occurred. Allow them to calm down, then talk them through how to apologize.
Analyze the child’s situation:
Talk to your child about the situation and let them express their feelings freely. Once your child is calm, it’s time to analyze what happened and express their feelings about what occurred. During conflicts, expressing feelings is important and will actually motivate the child’s actions.
Ask the child for their reasons for doing something wrong:
Ask your child why they did something wrong. Inquiring about the reasons behind the child’s mistake can motivate the child to seek forgiveness.
Encourage empathy in your child and teach them how to apologize:
Now that you understand what happened and why your child reacted that way, ask them how they would feel if they were in another child’s place. You can also remind them of a similar situation they’ve experienced. The goal is to help your child put themselves in another’s shoes to comprehend their mistake.
Set time for your child to reflect on their mistake:
Your child should not apologize just to avoid punishment after doing something wrong; rather, set time for them to think about their mistake, recognize it, and feel remorse. The key condition for a genuine apology is regret; thus, as stated in this section of SelMagz, they should not apologize until they genuinely feel remorseful.
Analyze with your child what they could have done differently:
If you could go back to the previous situation, what would you do? This exercise allows the child to think of other ways to resolve conflicts. While brainstorming may not fix the current situation, it will be a good way to manage feelings in the future.
Avoiding mistakes is one of the most important conditions for a real apology:
Tell your child that if they have done something bad and apologize for it, they should not repeat that action, as a significant aspect of a real apology is making a sincere decision not to repeat the mistake.
If the child genuinely apologizes but accidentally repeats the same mistake, accept their apology and emphasize that it’s alright since they didn’t intend to do it. After apologizing to the child, make sure not to repeat that action yourself.
Ask them how they can help the other child feel better:
Parents should be an important role model for their child. Allow your child to choose how to apologize. Sometimes just saying “sorry” is not what a child needs. Hug them and invite them to play or draw. The goal is to help the child take responsibility for their actions in a way that suits them.
Ask them how they can do something to help the other child feel better and make amends. In teaching the child directly, explain that making amends shows that we take responsibility for our mistake and understand the feelings of the other person. This will make both the other person happy and help us feel better too.
However, show your child that to make amends, they should never feel pressured to do something that harms them or to be coerced into making up for their mistakes. This way, the child learns not to let anyone take advantage of them when trying to make amends for their errors.
A good apology should show why the child should apologize, not only for what they did but also for hurting the other person’s feelings. Ultimately, to teach your child to apologize, you must be a role model.
Whenever you make a mistake, apologize too. Apologizing is not a weakness but a strength and courage. As parents, you must be brave so your children can learn from your actions.
