The major difference between wise and ignorant parents in raising children
You may have seen parents around you who always say, “Don’t be so strict. Our parents didn’t do these things. Were we bad kids or do these things just make children spoiled?” These parents believe that children shouldn’t be given too much attention. In contrast, wise parents focus on their children’s needs and aim to raise children who will become good and successful members of society in the future. If you’re unsure,wise parentswhat they pay attention to in order to raise successful children—this section of Family PlusRead SelMagzto learn about it.
Paying Attention to Children’s Interests
Wise parents always pay attention to their children’s interests and seek to discover their abilities and talents. Children’s interests during childhood lay the foundation for future activities pursued with purpose. Wise parents never try to change a child’s interests or force them to adopt their own preferences.
Children show their interests and talents between ages 3 and 6. If you want to empower your child’s innate abilities and nurture these talents, first identify their interests.
Taking children’s fears seriously
Wise parents don’t ignore their child’s fears; they pay attention and treat them seriously. From around age two, children start to understand their fears. Some fears are natural, but parents should not dismiss them. No fear should last over two years, as prolonged fears can disturb a child’s life and turn simple fears into real phobias. If a fear persists excessively, it indicates a problem that needs attention or even clinical treatment.
Paying Attention to Children’s Weaknesses
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, skills and areas where they lack ability. Children also have weaknesses that parents should notice. Wise parents never openly highlight their child’s weaknesses or label them; instead, they help the child acquire necessary skills and spend time supporting them in this regard.
Wise parents never discuss their child’s weaknesses in front of others. They understand that skill-related weaknesses are fully manageable. Some children’s disabilities are due to lack of knowledge or awareness in specific areas. Once aware of their child’s lack of talent in certain fields, wise parents accept this reality and realize that more effort may be needed to address weaknesses.
Not having excessive expectations of the child
Wise parents set realistic expectations based on their child’s actual abilities and talents. However, some parents overly strive for their children to be the “best” in various fields. Since these parents often set standards beyond their child’s true capacity, children may fail to meet these goals, leading to disappointment and frustration.
High expectations can seriously damage a child’s self-confidence and make them vulnerable. Another harm caused by excessive parental expectations is the development ofdepressionand a tendency toward social withdrawal. Wise parents identify and assess their child’s talents, guiding them in a way that they enjoy learning, developing their skills, and feeling energized by their achievements.
Attention to Children’s Needs
Children’s needs are not limited to material aspects like food, clothing, and shelter. Each child has different needs, desires, dreams, feelings, and beliefs that must be considered. Ignoring these needs can lead to social maladjustment, depression, personality gaps, and more.
Wise parents sometimes ask their children if there was something they wished their parents had done but didn’t.
Unconditional Love
Wise parents love their children for who they are. Even when they are angry or upset, they show that they still love them. One mistake some parents make is threatening not to love their child if they misbehave; this damages the child’s attachment and can lead toanxietyand a fear of loss, which can stay with the child into adulthood.
Teaching Social Skills
Wise parents understand that children will be part of society in the future and need to work and interact with others. To succeed, they must learn social laws, get familiar with manners, and value others’ feelings and beliefs. Therefore, from early childhood, they try to teach their children social skills that help them thrive in society.
Not Comparing Siblings
Every child is unique, with their own talents and abilities. Wise parents know this and do not compare their children because comparisons cause anger and make children feel bitterness and sadness towards their parents, siblings, or friends.
Comparing children not only causes anger and resentment but also seriously harms their mental health.
