Why Do Families Prefer Boys More?
Many couples have disagreements over the gender of their child; some prefer girls while others prefer boys. Additionally, many people find the gender of their child to be of little importance. It is common to hear stories of fathers who feel unhappy and behave poorly towards their wives when they learn their newborn is a girl.
With advancements in medical science today, it is possible to know the gender of a baby a few months before birth. Some pregnant women prefer not to find out the gender until delivery to delay potential negative reactions from their husbands.
More modern families claim that it does not matter whether their child is a boy or a girl, as long as they are healthy and good-natured, but when they see the result of the ultrasound and find out the child is a boy, they feel ecstatic and celebrate. But why do families prefer boys more? This topic has been addressed in this section ofSelMagzJoin us as we explore this topic further.
Is a Son Better Than a Daughter?
Sometimes when asked how many children they have, some fathers only mention their sons, which raises the question of how many sons and daughters they actually have.
When a husband was asked how he felt about having a second child after already having a son, he replied that he would prefer his second child to be a boy too, stating that boys can better defend their rights in today’s society.
There is no difference between sons and daughters.
Experts believe there is no difference between boys and girls, as both are valuable children representing their parents. Both genders can thrive and contribute significantly to society if provided with the right education. A well-raised girl can become an outstanding individual and bring pride to her parents.
Many believe girls are kinder and more caring, taking better care of their parents, while boys, once they grow up and gain independence, may not pay much attention to their parents unless they are nurtured properly.
One supporter of having daughters argues that girls are less expensive to raise compared to boys, as they spend less time living with their parents and, after marriage, no longer rely on them.
On the other hand, families with boys must cover all educational expenses, find suitable jobs, cover costs for military service, and perhaps even bear financial burdens for their entire lives.
The Discrimination between Daughters and Sons is a Remnant of Ignorant Times
The practice of favoring sons over daughters harks back to ignorant times when people had doubts about recognizing women as equals and felt shame over having daughters, even burying them alive after birth. However, Islam promotes equality between men and women and fights against such misbeliefs.
Reasons for Favoring Sons over Daughters in the Past
If we look at the lives of our mothers and grandmothers, we will see that they also wished for sons, and having a daughter often felt like a disaster, prompting sympathy from others, and at times even condolences.
In those times, many didn’t even call their female family members by name, referring to them as “weak” or “of the house,” forbidding them from leaving home unaccompanied. If a father showed affection towards his daughter, he would often be mocked.
1. One reason for the favoring of sons over daughters in the past was the type of work and responsibilities that fell to boys, making their societal roles broader. Boys were seen as the right hand of their fathers, helping in agriculture, labor, trade, etc., which elevated their status compared to girls.
2. Another reason for the perceived superiority of boys is the lack of self-belief among girls and women in society, leading to the belief that men were inherently more capable.
3. The inclination of families toward sons partly stems from the idea that boys depend on their mothers up until the age of five and view their fathers as rivals, but as they grow, they admire their fathers and remain attached to their mothers, which can cause psychological issues later.
4. Some fathers prefer sons because they believe daughters are more vulnerable and require special protection, fearing for their safety and the family’s reputation, although such beliefs can sometimes seem reasonable.
Note:
The preference for having sons is not unique to Iranians; it is also seen in other societies, especially in East Asia and cultures where traditions dominate.
Discrimination Between Daughters and Sons is Forbidden!
Islam teaches us to see daughters as blessings and sons as divine gifts. We must appreciate God’s love and recognize the value of these precious beings in our lives, as creating a daughter is a shared responsibility between both parents. It’s unwise to blame one another for the gender of a child, and when hearing that a child is a girl, fathers should express joy and affection towards their wives, perhaps giving gifts and celebrating. If a father notices his wife is upset about having a daughter, he should comfort her, explaining rationally that God’s choice is just as valuable and that there’s no difference between a boy and a girl.
Various Islamic traditions emphasize that parents must not show favoritism among their children and should love them equally.
For instance, in the book of Wasail al-Shia, it is narrated thatImam Rezasaid someone told him, “I know a man who loves his daughter more than his son.” Imam Reza responded, “Daughters and sons are equal; there’s no difference between them.” Thus, parents are advised to be cautious not to show favoritism towards one child, as it can lead to jealousy and hurt feelings among the others.Various Sayings About Not Favoring Daughters Over Sons
It’s narrated that a man went to Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) asking him to pray for a son. The Imam replied, “I will pray for you, but first answer my question. If God asked you if you wanted to choose your child’s gender or have Him choose, what would you say?” The man replied, “God.” The Imam said, “Then God has made His choice for you, and what is best for you will happen.”
It is narrated from the Prophet of Islam that he said, “Your best children are your daughters,” and “Whoever has three daughters or three sisters and cares for them, I have made Paradise obligatory for him.”
In a narration, a man was with the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when he was informed that his child had been born, and it was a girl. The man became upset. When the Prophet noticed his distress, he asked, “Why did your color change?” The man replied, “When I left home, my wife was in labor, and now I hear I have a girl.” The Prophet responded, “The earth will support her, the sky casts its shadow over her, and God provides for her; she is a fragrant flower that you will cherish.”
Differences Between Children
Desire for Having a Baby Boy
Favoritism
