Reasons for inability inTalking to a spouseandmarital disagreements
Discussions and disagreements are an inseparable part of married life. The conflicts that arise between couples can only be resolved through communication skills. When they talk calmly, they can minimize these disagreements, but unfortunately, many couples find that as soon as they begin to talk, their discussions escalate into arguments. What causes this, and what are the principles of communication with a spouse? In this section ofSelMagzWe have outlined the bad habits and behaviors of couples that lead to arguments during conversations.
Why does arguing happen when we talk?
The bad habits and behaviors of couples that lead to arguments during conversations include:
Long conversations
Some couples express their grievances and criticisms in lengthy and repetitive ways during a conversation, leading to one person’s anger being stirred up, causing the discussion to end fruitlessly and with turmoil. It’s better to speak concisely and clearly state your complaints.
Disrespect
One reason why some couples’ conversations escalate into arguments is the lack of respect and personal attacks on each other. This does not help resolve the issue and often intensifies the conflict.
Bringing up past issues
Some couples stray from the main topic during conversations and also bring up all the problems they faced in the past. Discussing past issues can turn small disagreements into arguments.
Involving families
Some couples introduce their family members into the conversation, making insulting and critical remarks about each other’s families. This shifts the discussion away from the main topic and leads to arguments, resentment, and emotional pain.
Misunderstanding
Sometimes in conversations, couples misunderstand each other. Misunderstandings can escalate discussions into arguments. Therefore, if you feel that you don’t understand your partner’s words, ask for clarification to receive a more accurate message.
Irony and sarcasm
When speaking with your spouse, communicate clearly and avoid irony and sarcasm. In response to criticism, use the disarming technique where you neither stay silent, defend yourself, nor agree. For example, if they say they dislike something you did, you could respond, “Honestly, I didn’t know that.”
Talking at the wrong time
Sometimes one partner may be tired or uninterested in talking. This can affect the conversation and lead to arguments. Whenever you feel that you or your partner is losing patience during a conversation, try to end the discussion, even if you haven’t reached a conclusion.
