Destructive mistakes of modern couples
Sadly, a significant percentage of marriages worldwide end in divorce within the first 20 years. Getting married is like flipping a coin; you don’t know which side you’ll get. It doesn’t mean everything is left to chance, but how you approach married life is crucial and requires attention to detail.
In this section of Family PlusSelMagzWe aim to introduce common mistakes that can definitely ruin your marriage and significantly impact your life.
Not helping with household chores
Men often do not help with housework, which frustrates women. While it’s true you work outside, your partner may also have a job, or even if not, household tasks can be overwhelming. To avoid chaos and conflict, at least do your own tasks.
Negative influence from friends
Your surroundings may be filled with friends and close relationships that negatively affect you and your marriage. Friends’ activities directly impact your marriage, so if you feel you have toxic friendships, try to limit those connections.
Valuing money over marriage
Some people are very materialistic, considering money more important than marriage, and they’re reluctant to spend a little extra to improve their situation. Such excessive materialism and stinginess can ruin their marriage.
StressWorrying too much about money
Financial problems exist in every life, but they shouldn’t ruin your relationship with your spouse. Lack of money shouldn’t create conflict. Always try to keep financial worries out of your mind and avoid stressing over them.
Excessive intimacy
Sometimes intimacy becomes so excessive that it strains relationships. Both partners may expect to know the most private aspects of each other’s lives. This level of intimacy doesn’t improve the relationship; rather, it may destroy it.
Avoiding communication
When you notice a behavior in your partner that bothers you, try to explain it during a meaningful conversation. Silence may allow the issue to linger and grow until you lose patience and control.
Not watching romantic movies
You might find it surprising, but studies show that couples who watch positive and constructive romantic movies together analyze their own romantic relationships and learn more, reducing their divorce rate by 50%.
Sleeping separately
While you might prefer to sleep alone on hot nights to stay cooler, know that sleeping apart from your spouse can lead to emotional distance and eventually harm your relationship. Be careful not to do this.
Using contraceptive pillsWhat role do contraceptive pills play in a strong, stable relationship after marriage? Studies show that sexual satisfaction levels in those who regularly take the pill are much lower than in those who do not. These pills can negatively affect your relationship with your spouse.
The decline of attraction in sexual relationships
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Unrealistic expectations
Every woman wants an ideal man, and men desire their partner to be the best in every way. However, sometimes these unrealistic expectations exist only in movies. Be cautious that your expectations from your spouse are realistic; otherwise, they can harm your marriage.
Late attention to your spouse
Sometimes your partner may not be your priority, and this is one of the biggest mistakes in a marriage. Don’t focus on others’ needs before attending to your spouse. Your partner should be your main priority. Always show appreciation and prioritize their needs.
Working too much
While working can lead to better living conditions and more comfort, your job shouldn’t consume all your thoughts and distance you from your spouse.
Over-focusing on children
No one can deny that parents are the most protective for their children. However, children shouldn’t be a reason for you to distance yourselves; rather, they should strengthen your relationship.
Constantly being on your phone
You may rely heavily on your mobile phone, but when you’re with your spouse, make an effort to set it aside. Otherwise, you risk drifting apart. Phones distract you from meaningful conversations with your partner, cooling your relationship.
Excessive selfishness
To experience a healthy long-term relationship, you need to let go of excessive selfishness. While you should value your own rights, don’t confuse this with selfishness. Ask yourself what you’re lacking and how to improve it, rather than remaining silent and distancing yourself from your spouse.
Texting instead of calling
While texting can be sweet, couples who communicate more via phone tend to have better and closer relationships. Try to not use texting as a substitute for phone calls to keep your connection strong.
Not changing
If you notice issues in your relationship or in your behavior, address them as soon as possible. Resistance to change can lead to relationship collapse and divorce over time.
Ignoring your spouse’s feelings
In a successful relationship, everything should be mutual. If you prioritize only your feelings and ignore your partner’s, don’t expect your relationship to flourish. Paying attention to your spouse’s emotions is key to a thriving partnership.
Financial dependence on your spouse
Unfortunately, we live in a society where making a living is challenging, requiring both partners to work together. However, men shouldn’t depend financially on their spouses; otherwise, their relationships will suffer and move away from success.
Low self-esteem
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Being unreliable
Many relationships fail due to one partner’s unreliability. Being consistently late without explanation or engaging in suspicious activities can definitely undermine intimacy in your relationship.
Sharing personal stories with others
Some couples may share every detail of their marriage on social media, including their most private fights. Discussing personal issues with others shows a lack of respect for yourselves, each other, and your relationship, which will inevitably lead to problems.
Jealousy about everything
It’s completely natural to feel jealous of your spouse and to want them to be less friendly with others. However, excessive jealousy about everything is dangerous and will distance you from your partner.
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