Educational Strategies for Nosy and Gossiping Children
Some families, due to improper upbringing, raise children who become gossipers and nosy. Having such a child is like having a recording device that captures all family conversations and secrets, sharing them with others at the first opportunity.
The main reason children become gossipers is their parents’ behavior. Children find it hard to understand boundaries, so when parents talk about important family matters in front of certain people or on the phone, children don’t learn that gossiping is wrong and instead continue this habit, finding various justifications.
By studying this section from Family PlusSelMagzYou will learn appropriate responses and ways to break this habit in children.
Proper Response to a Gossiping and Nosy Child
Some common mistakes parents make that lead to defiant behavior include punishing, shouting, and reprimanding a gossiping child in front of others. These actions not only fail to change the child’s behavior but can also increase defiance and insistence on wrong actions.
Therefore, to change a gossiping child’s behavior, you should avoid such actions. When in the presence of such a child, refrain from discussing important matters and family secrets, or only confide in others when your child is asleep. We will continue with appropriate strategies for dealing with a gossiping child.
Methods to Silence a Gossiping Child
1. Children over seven have better comprehension. Therefore, you can explain in a friendly conversation that informing someone is not the same as gossiping. Gossip can destroy respect and create bigger problems.
2. When you notice your child gossiping, do not laugh or encourage them. Also, avoid harsh responses, as this will only make them more defiant. For example, if you see them gossiping, you might say: “I didn’t know, but you shouldn’t tell me your friend’s secret. It’s great that you keep secrets!” Gradually, this positive reinforcement will reduce the gossiping behavior.
3. If your child is a gossip, you can ask trusted adults not to discuss important topics in front of your child or to ignore your child’s gossiping behavior without engaging.
4. Children behave and react differently. Some do not like direct commands. You can illustrate the wrongness of gossiping through songs, stories, puppet shows, or relevant movies.
5. For insignificant conversations—like what we had for dinner or where we went yesterday—do not show any reaction.
6. Sometimes children gossip because they feel overlooked by their parents or teachers. Providing adequate attention and affection will reduce their need to seek attention through gossip.
7. The secrets children share might seem trivial to you but are very important to them. Therefore, your responsibility is to keep their secret safe. This behavior will build their trust and teach them the value of confidentiality.
8. One reason your child may gossip is your behavior in the presence of others. You might think they are playing but they are listening. Thus, strive to be a good role model.
9.Boost Self-EsteemIncrease your child’s self-esteem to prevent them from gossiping to gain attention.
10. When dealing with a gossiping child, take them aside and speak calmly. For instance, say: “I am very upset that you talk about our family’s private matters with others;” or if they notice your gaze, hold eye contact for just a few seconds.
11. Teach your child to participate in friendly gatherings and play with peers to develop social skills.
12. Children must learn what information is appropriate to share, such as emergencies, fights, or inappropriate touching.
13. Dedicate sufficient time to your child. Play with them, go out together, draw, and nurture their positive traits.
14. Encourage your child to find ways to correct their behavior and do not take full responsibility for correcting it.
15. Never use punishment methods like aggression, threats, andangerin front of others.
16. If ignoring your child’s gossiping behavior is difficult, tell them they will receive a reward for not gossiping, and vice versa.
17. Involve your gossiping child in appropriate activities and discuss their good behaviors with them.
18. Teach your child the difference between gossiping and sharing regular conversations. For instance, they can tell you about school happenings but should not disclose family matters at school.
19. When your child is gossiping, redirect their attention to something else. For example, say: “Instead of talking about this, let’s read a story or watch a movie…”
20. Discuss the downsides of gossiping with your child and teach them alternative ways to gain affection from others.
21. Create a list of your child’s gossiping incidents and discuss them at an appropriate time to raise awareness of their wrong behavior.
