WithA lazy husbandWhat should we do and how should we behave?
We all know that a peaceful and enjoyable life relies on performing duties and responsibilities between husband and wife. However, there are couples who, due to laziness, avoid their responsibilities and create problems in their marriage. For this reason, in this section of Family Pluson SelMagzwe will examine and share the signs and solutions to confront this issue:
What are the signs of a lazy husband?
We all have our days off when we feel like we shouldn’t do anything. This doesn’t mean your husband is lazy; it means he feels lazy on that particular day and probably needs rest. However, a severe unwillingness to work and lying for a few days makes one appear lazy. There is a thin line between being calm and being lazy.
A very lazy husband:
If he makes excuses every time you ask him to do something, like cleaning the house, paying bills, or just taking care of the kids, you definitely have a husband who shirks responsibilities. But if his laziness is accompanied by traits like selfishness and idleness, then it is extreme laziness. In such cases, the spouse needs to take serious steps to secure their future, as an idle husband cannot achieve marriage goals.
Big boy or husband?
If you feel that your husband needs constant attention just like your child, waking up for work and feeding, then you have a physically grown boy. You need to focus on parenting skills to raise your partner without making him lazy.
Clumsy:
If you often regret entrusting your husband with a task, you likely have a clumsy husband who knows how to disguise his laziness with incompetence. Their motto is, “Do everything in such a pathetic way that no one would expect you to do anything.”
Selfish and stubborn:
If every time you ask him to help in the kitchen or play with the kids, he gets distracted, he is likely trying to show superiority while actually hiding his laziness. He probably thinks that discussing a normal task will discourage you from your expectations of him.
Smooth talker:
If your husband flatters you by saying things like, “I can’t do this as well as you do,” and consistently avoids any tasks assigned to him, then you have a sweet-talking husband who has hidden his laziness. He can be so charming that you might not even realize he is playing you.
Incapable person:
Your spouse sometimes can’t see things, and even after you specifically tell him where to look, he can’t find the baby’s bottle. He decides to pretend he didn’t hear and claims, “You never told me to take out the trash every day.” Often, he forgets things, especially about tasks he was supposed to do, and suddenly shows signs of physical ailments.
Clever ways to deal with a lazy husband:
1. Find solutions together
Have a logical conversation with him. Express all practical frustrations caused by his laziness and the kids. Tell him how your toddler has put his dirty socks in his mouth. Try to express your frustrations and expectations clearly, making sure not to be overly harsh or sarcastic while doing it.
2. Make him feel like a hero
Tell him there are tasks only he can do for you. Ask him to collaborate on some tasks, let him feel needed (even if it’s not necessary). Make him aware of all the positive changes that can occur with just a bit of help. When he experiences how much he can bring happiness to you and the kids by doing a little more around the house, he will be tempted.
3. Lower your standards and expectations
This may be a bit hard for you, but ultimately, you will get things done just how you want. You just have to accept your husband’s occasional sloppy job to prove he must complete that specific task. When he realizes he can’t get away with it, he will do better next time. You just need to be patient.
4. Appreciate him – always, always
Reinforcement through appreciation repeatedly helps convince your husband to assist you around the house. Just ensure that you appear genuine while praising him for things done well, and you can show your appreciation by rewarding him.
5. Avoid using threats
No matter how patient your husband is, never resort to threats or ultimatums to get a routine task done. Give him enough time to complete things in his own way. When he’s convinced it doesn’t matter how long it takes, he will do it. He might even surprise you by doing it better than you expected.
6. Be firm
Without changing your tone, be firm and decisive wherever necessary. You might think raising your voice might help convey the message to the kids about getting something done for your husband, but in reality, it’s ineffective for both kids and spouse. Therefore, you should just be firm and tell him there’s no way to escape responsibility.
7. Communicate
SelMagz recommends maintaining communication until your spouse helps you at home. Try doing tasks likecleaning the houseor cooking and have deep conversations about feelings and experiences. This will shift the focus from how much he works to having friendly chats.
8. Be flexible
You may have your method of doing things, which might be the best for you, but when choosing your husband for a specific task, don’t interfere in his work. Be flexible and accept his way of doing it. If you interfere, he may never collaborate with you again.
9. Avoid doing tasks your husband has done
No matter how bad or good your husband’s work is, do not immediately or in his presence redo it. This is a way to prevent him from regretting doing that task in the future. He will always feel that no matter what, he won’t meet your expectations, so it’s best not to do anything.
10. Be considerate
Consider the necessity and priority of the responsibility you assigned to your husband and try to see his point of view. If you suffer from OCD, you cannot accuse your husband of laziness. Just because you are used to washing the tea cup right after finishing doesn’t mean your husband has to do the same.
