Should I discuss my past with my child?
Mistakes and pains from the past can sometimes stay in our minds like labels, so we prefer to hide them. However, if we talk about them at the right time and in the right way, they won’t be so upsetting. For example, sharing our past as a lesson and experience for our children.
Each of us has made mistakes in life. We have done things in the past we don’t want to talk about. But do you think we should discuss our past with our children? Some of you believe you should not tell your children about your past mistakes, unaware that sharing stories about how we’ve overcome challenges and gained experience can help children manage their own past difficulties.
Sometimes, parents have been hurt during adolescence and hide these experiences inside. Others may have been betrayed or wronged, but those who harmed us might come back and change for the better. The important question is what we tell our children about these situations.
Share Your Past with Your Child
Sometimes, the labels and pain from the past make life difficult. Being optimistic in such conditions is hard. But our children are never tired of hearing about the actions we took to stay healthy and manage life, and they find it interesting and educational.
One of the most important lessons when sharing these stories with your child is that we are no longer like who we used to be. Past mistakes belong to the past, and now we are new people. We shouldn’t blame ourselves for those sins. You can share some of these educational stories and your personal growth. Even if your spouse made a big mistake in the past but has changed and learned from it, and is now a loyal partner, this can be a valuable lesson for your child. They won’t feel bad about hearing it.
What can we tell our children about our past?
We are now new people
Our children need to know about the decisions we made in life. They should learn how we overcame difficult situations and how we became new people. Even wrong decisions can eventually be a way to make amends. So, we can explain these choices and changes we’ve made in ourselves to our children.
Apologizing and Asking for Forgiveness
We can tell our children about mistakes we made in the past and teach them how to apologize. Explain how we acted to make amends when we made mistakes.
Learning New Habits
When we live free from these labels, we might feel like victims, but the victors. Alongside these victories, we can learn new habits, showing our children that after a mistake, they should adopt a new way of life. We must stay hopeful and put aside all labels. No matter how painful our decisions were and how hard it was to make them, your children can learn from stories that there is always time to start new actions. Talk to your child about your past and share the lessons you’ve learned. Tell them where your correct decision saved you from continued mistakes and how listening to certain advice kept you from going astray.
