The best methods and phrases to help calm downAngry childand furious
It doesn’t matter if your child is quiet and boiling inside or erupts like a volcano; all children need to learn how to manage their anger, and as parents, you need to learn skills that can make your angry child calmer. In this section of Family PlusSelMagzWe will share some phrases that will help you calm your child.
I am here, I love you, and you are safe
Instead of telling them to stop, reassure them that you are there so they feel no stress. When children are angry or scared, their bodies often experience a reactionStresswhich literally makes them feel unsafe.
I feel like you don’t want to play with your toys
Tell them: When you throw your toys, I feel like you don’t want to play with them. Saying this will calm your child; try not to use the phrase “Don’t throw your things.” By replacing our suggested phrase, you establish communication with your child and they will feel more comfortable discussing or acting on their feelings.
It’s okay, these feelings will pass
Tell them: Adults also have big feelings sometimes. It’s okay, these feelings will go away.
Instead of telling your child that kids who grow up don’t do this, it’s better to be honest with them. As they grow older, they will become more nervous and have more problems; accept their feelings.
I also get angry sometimes like you
Tell them: I also get angry sometimes like you. Let’s use this cryingAngerto release our anger. Instead of telling them, “Don’t be angry,” show them with this statement that they can prevent hurting themselves and vent their feelings.
I know that you are angry
Tell them: I know that you are angry, but I won’t let you hurt yourself or others. Instead of just shouting at them and saying “Don’t hurt anyone,” first invite them to calm down to show that you understand their feelings, then separate them from whoever they are in conflict with.
You are a bit stubborn, so let’s solve this together
Instead of telling them you are too stubborn or acting badly, it’s better to speak to them in a way that shows you are a team and want to solve the problem together.
Let’s wait a little to calm down together
Without telling them, you messed everything up, it’s better to get them to reconnect instead of feeling revenge or loneliness.
Do you want to brush your doll’s teeth first?
Tell them: Do you want to brush your teeth first or brush your doll’s teeth? Instead of telling them to brush their teeth quickly, it’s better to give them the responsibility that they should brush their doll’s teeth first. This will create enthusiasm in them.
What can we do to make this food delicious?
You may have told your child to eat their food or else they will sleep hungry; however, if you use the phrase we suggested, it means you are giving them a responsibility to find a solution for their problem, and this creates a good feeling in them.
Share your opinion, I will help you
Tell them: So what do you think we should do to clean this part of the room? I will help you. Instead of telling them you make me sick with your messy room and saying they shouldn’t come out until they tidy it, try to keep your focus on being kind and set a goal so that they are more eager to clean their room.
What do you need to get ready?
When you want to leave the house and they are taking too long, don’t say, “We are leaving.” Tell them that if they want to get ready and come with us, ask what they need for help.
I think let’s talk in your natural voice
Instead of telling your child not to whine or shout, it’s better to invite them to calm down so they can speak in their normal tone.
I hear you, do you think we can find a solution?
Without constantly telling them not to complain, try to stand by them and look for solutions to problems. They may also find many solutions for you.
I think you didn’t hear me the first time
I think you didn’t hear me the first time, so what do you think about me saying it again, and you tell me if you understood what I meant? Without telling them how many times I have to repeat something, try to encourage them to listen with this friendly and respectful phrase.
Let’s take a little break and talk again
Tell them: This is hard to do, let’s take a break and start our work again in a quarter of an hour. Instead of telling them not to get discouraged quickly or not to get irritated soon, try to understand them and let their mind rest.
Let’s go to a quiet place to solve the problem
Instead of telling them that they are embarrassing you and removing their self-confidence, try to be with them so they can tell you their problems more comfortably.
Do you want to blow out the candle together?
Tell them: I want to blow out the candle to remember my birthday. Will you join me? Instead of telling them not to shout or scream, try to invite them to a calming activity. Blowing out candles can be a way to take deep breaths which will definitely calm them.
Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Tell them: I want you to understand this is not right. Is there anything else you want to tell me? Instead of saying I am talking to you and trying to force communication, try to invite them to calmness and dialogue with the phrase you just said.
Let’s do some coloring
In this situation, you should say: If green represents calmness, yellow represents frustration, and red represents anger, I’m in the yellow where I’m moving towards red. What color are you now? What do you think we should do to get closer to green?
This sentence can be the best expression you tell your child. Give them a picture to express their feelings; instead of saying I’m boiling inside, try to help them understand your feelings.
I’m sorry you don’t like this
Tell them: I’m sorry you don’t like this. How can we do this better next time? Instead of saying I won’t change it, focus on finding a solution.
Let’s brainstorm together
In this situation, you should say: I’m hearing your voice saying no. I know you don’t want this. Let’s brainstorm together to see how we can do it differently. Instead of saying don’t say no, try to find a solution for them to be at ease.
Express your reaction comfortably to me
Tell them: You have intense reactions to strong feelings. If your feelings were like a monster, what kind of reaction would you have? Instead of telling them not to have strong reactions, which usually happens when tired, hungry, or frustrated, try to give them an example for their feelings.
