Tips for calling your mother-in-law or father-in-law “mom”.
Some people use the terms “mom” and “dad” for their spouse’s parents, but they need to consider the emotional weight of these words. It is unreasonable to expect a new spouse to adopt this immediately, nor should it be forced by one partner onto the other.
Especially if a family has any issues with the new bride or groom, they might not receive these terms positively and may feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, if the husband or wife doesn’t feel love and acceptance from their spouse’s family, they will struggle to address them as “mom” or “dad”.
What titles should we use for our spouse’s parents?
As discussed in this section of Family PlusSelMagzUsing the terms “mom” and “dad” can create a stronger bond between the new bride or groom and their spouse’s family. Positive language can help relationships develop in a good direction and enhance their quality.
Moreover, fostering love and connection in these relationships impacts the married couple’s life positively, enhancing their affection for each other, as people feel proud and valuable when their partner has a close and affectionate relationship with their family.
Getting to Know Your Spouse’s Family During Engagement
The engagement period is a time for couples to become acquainted with each other and their families. While introductions might have occurred during the proposal, the marriage brings them into a life together that is slightly different. Couples can wisely build their lives based on the relationships formed during their engagement.ProposalWhile introductions may have happened, after engagement both parties enter a life together that is different from just meeting. A young couple can wisely establish their future based on relationships formed during their engagement.
Initially, it is crucial to be sensitive to each other’s behaviors, cultures, customs, beliefs, and traditions because these can influence the relationship and shared life. Your partner grew up in this family and culture, so understanding these factors can foster better communication with your spouse.
This does not mean altering oneself to fit the desires of the spouse’s family; rather, it can help prevent many tensions.
Your fiancé or spouse plays an essential role in your integration into their family, as they have a better understanding of their family’s dynamics and can facilitate the development of a good relationship.
The second step is to establish a respectful relationship. Too much closeness isn’t necessary; instead, a proper, respectful connection is sufficient. Due to inherent differences, there will be conflicts, thus managing the relationship to prevent harm is often better than excessive intimacy.
Phrases like “my spouse’s family is like my own” or “my mother-in-law is like my mom” or “my daughter-in-law is like my daughter” are common in many families. However, a bride can never have the same relationship with her mother-in-law as she does with her mom, even if respect is present; that is a different matter.
Expecting a parent-child relationship from both sides is somewhat unrealistic.
Calling someone “mom” or “dad” depends on family culture.
Choosing the right titles for in-laws depends on the family’s culture, which should not be overlooked. Some families use terms like “hajh Khanom” and “hajh Agha,” while others may call them “uncle” and “aunt.”
Some use “Agha Jan” and “Maman Jan”; others add “Jan” to the name of their spouse’s parents. In any case, there is no strict law regarding this. Using affectionate titles implies more love is expected, provided it is not seen as disrespectful in that family’s culture.
Consult with your spouse.
Share your expectations about how you’d like your spouse to address your parents, making sure it’s not forced or threatening in any way.
If your spouse agrees, that’s great! However, if they disagree, responding with anger or retaliation is unwise. Discussing this matter is vital since couples usually have less knowledge about each other’s family customs and rules.
Recognize the importance of titles.
Choosing the right titles to address your spouse’s parents not only fosters warmth and affection toward you but also enhances love between you and your partner. For example, a woman who sees her husband use the title chosen together for her parents will certainly feel better toward him.
Note:
Even the smallest issues in shared life, when explored and researched, not only prevent conflicts but also increase the feeling ofhappinessfor both parties.
