How to Overcome Embarrassment andShynessand Treat It?
Are you shy? If so, you are not alone. Many people around the world suffer from mild to severe shyness and are trying to overcome it. In this section ofSelMagzyou will read that to overcome shyness, you need to understand the situations that cause your shyness, change your mindset and perspective about these situations, and practice in uncomfortable situations until you move past your concerns and feel at ease. Remember that breaking out of your shell is not magical and won’t happen overnight; it takes time, effort, and of course, the desire to change.
Tips for Overcoming andTreating Shynessand Embarrassment
Golden strategies for treating shyness as recommended by psychologists.
1. Understand and Identify the Root of Your Shyness:
Think about the root of your shyness; shyness is not necessarily equivalent to being introverted or not liking yourself. It means you are feeling bothered and embarrassed for specific reasons.
What is the root of your shyness? It generally indicates a bigger issue; here are a few options:
You have a poor self-image:
This happens when we assess ourselves, and the voice in our head is negative. It’s difficult not to listen to it, but at the end of the day, it’s your voice that speaks, and you can tell it what to say.
Treating shyness through self-awareness
You are preoccupied with how to get rid of your shyness:
This happens when we focus too much on ourselves. We scrutinize our actions all day to ensure we don’t mess up and assume others are doing the same.
You feel embarrassed by others:
Sometimes, we are shy as children. Unfortunately, people hold on to that view, and even if our personality grows, they treat us the same, making it hard for others to see you differently.
Treating shyness and understanding factors that affect embarrassment
2. Accept Your Shy Self:
One of the first steps to overcoming your shyness is to try to accept and be comfortable with your feelings of embarrassment. The more you resist it, either unconsciously or consciously, the bigger it will grow. If you are shy, acknowledge it. One way to do this is to tell yourself, ‘Yes, I am shy, and I accept it.’
3. Identify Your Triggers:
Are you shy in front of new audiences? While learning a new skill? When experiencing a new situation? When surrounded by people you know who admire you?
When you’re in a place where you don’t know anyone? Before you get shy, try to pinpoint exactly what thoughts are going through your mind. Not all situations make you shy; when you’re around your family, you feel fine, right? What’s the difference between them and the strangers around you?
There is none; you just know them better, and they know you too; it’s not you, just the situation you’re in. It proves that this isn’t universal and 100% depends on the circumstances, which is great.
Treating shyness by understanding the influencing issues
4. Make a list of situations that causeAnxietyfor you:
Organize them so that the factors that cause you the least anxiety are first, while those that create the most anxiety come last. When you place everything in specific conditions, it seems manageable, and even successful.
Now sort them by how easy they are to carry out; for example, “speaking in front of people” might be intimidating, but you can start with something more manageable. Talking to those who hold more power than you? Speaking with those who you find attractive? The clearer your list is, the easier it will be for you to identify situations to work through.
5. Conquer the list you’ve made:
Once you complete a list of 10-15 stress-inducing situations, start working on each one. Tackling several “simpler” scenarios can helpboost your confidenceso you can progress to more challenging conditions.Don’t worry if you sometimes have to backtrack on the list; it’s okay, move at your own pace, but try to push yourself forward.Treating shyness with what exercises might help?
Part Two of Treating Shyness
Conquer Your Mind:
Use your embarrassment as a sign; whatever is inside you may cause embarrassment because we see it as a factor of shyness, similarly our mind can be reprogrammed.
In a way, we have been trained since childhood to react to specific stimuli like being away from strangers, heights, dangerous animals, etc. We often react automatically; the response is instinctive (or by default) and this reaction can be misaligned; for instance, when people see a lizard, some see an ugly reptile while others see a beautiful pet; this difference stems from their memories and experiences (or lack thereof) with the stimulus (the lizard).
Similarly, when shy individuals see people (the stimuli), their natural response is embarrassment and shyness; the truth is, you can alter this response by reprogramming your mind.
Outstanding Strategies for Treating Shyness
Ask yourself questions and assess the validity of your reasons:
For example, it’s crucial to speak with people to overcome your embarrassment issues, and when you feel shy, try to present this embarrassment as a sign of your struggles and confront what you’ve accomplished.
When you feel shy and embarrassed, you likely go to a calm and quiet place because that has been your default reaction for a long time, but this time, when you feel embarrassed, push yourself and resist, meaning, talk to people; yes, you will feel quite uncomfortable, but consider these feelings as a trigger to push yourself.
After doing this a few times, you’ll realize that these
negative feelings
are actually your good friends because they motivate you to push yourself harder.Treating shyness and examining its causesFocus your attention on others:
99% of us feel shy when we think about speaking or acting because of what others might think, which is why it’s important to focus on others, shifting our (mental) attention elsewhere.
The simplest way to do this is to focus on empathy; when we feel compassion or sympathy, we take the focus off ourselves and dedicate all our mental resources to understanding others.
Remember that everyone is struggling with some kind of issue—big or small (big for themselves!)—and it helps us remember that everyone deserves our care.
If that doesn’t help, visualize a thought pattern like one you think others have; if you’re worried about how others view you, assume that they are unconsciously focused (note that they really aren’t). Mental patterns are contagious; once you start, you can’t stop.
Treating shyness and methods for overcoming unnecessary embarrassment
Visualize success:
Close your eyes and picture a situation where you might feel shy; now think about your confidence in your mind. Do this often and for different situations; it will work better if you do it daily, especially in the morning.
Your feelings may seem silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you? Engage all your senses to make it feel more real: think about being happy and relaxed.
How do you feel?
What do you do?
This way, when these situations arise, you’ll be more comfortable and ready.
Treating shyness and excellent strategies for overcoming unnecessary embarrassment
Practice good posture:
Standing tall gives the impression of confidence to the world and convinces others of that. Often we act according to how we feel.
So if you feel open and accessible, your body will mimic that feeling. The body is more than a physical entity; it also tricks your brain. Research shows that good posture (head high, shoulders back, and arms open) fosters feelings of confidence and reduces stress. You don’t even need more reasons!
Practice speaking clearly with yourself:
This helps prevent your shyness and requires repeating what you quietly mumble to yourself. You should hear your voice. In fact, you should love it; record your speaking voice—this may seem silly, but you’ll notice patterns, when and why you hesitate, and when you think your voice gets louder, etc.
Initially, you may feel like an actor (doing things that actors do in the moment), but it will become an old habit. Practice makes habit, remember that!
Exercises necessary for treating shyness
Don’t compare yourself to others:
The more you compare yourself to others, the more you feel unable to measure up and the more afraid you become, which can make you shy. Comparing yourself to others serves no other purpose. But if you must, do so realistically; everyone else has their own issues!
Seriously, if you have confident friends or family members, ask them about this topic. They probably say something like “Oh, yes, I do that completely consciously,” and so on.
Treating shyness by not comparing yourself to others
Think about what you are great at:
Everyone has a special talent or knowledge to offer the world, and it may not shout it out, but it’s true—think about what you know, what you can do, and what you have accomplished instead of worrying about your looks, your voice, or your clothes. Remember, everyone, even “beautiful people,” has something about themselves or their life they don’t like.
There’s no reason why your “problem” should be shyness and embarrassment while the “problems” of others do not make them shy or embarrassed. When you focus on this, you will notice you have plenty of offers and proposals to bring to any group or situation;
Your resources and skills need to improve your issues, your conversations, or whatever else, and acknowledging this makes you feel more inclined to speak up.
Treating shyness by focusing on your strengths
Identify your social value and strengths:
Are you a great listener? Do you see details very well? This might be something you haven’t even noticed, so take a moment. Do you understand and observe better compared to many around you? Maybe.
Your strengths could give you an advantage:
If you’re a great listener, you might find someone who has a problem and needs to chat will turn to you. So ask them what’s going on. You’ll find they have a bit to say. Can you listen to me?
In every social group, every role needs to be filled:
Even if you don’t see it, you have a place too. None are better than the others. Know that your worth, whatever it is, complements the group’s dynamics.
Treating shyness by enhancing strengths
Don’t label others, and don’t let them label you:
For the record, popular and famous people are not happy. Famous people aren’t necessarily popular or happy, and shy and reserved people aren’t necessarily introverted, unhappy, or cold. Just as you don’t want to be labeled, don’t label anyone else either.
The popular kids at school try very hard to be cool, fashionable, and popular. They strive to be attractive, fit, and successful. Good for them, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy. Trying to imitate something isn’t a path that will lead you anywhere.
How do we overcome and treat shyness?
Part Three: Treating Shyness
Let’s outline this section because it simply consists of understandable steps.
1. Improve your knowledge.
2. Think about the different stages of a conversation.
3. Start the conversation yourself.
4. Use past conversations as warm-ups.
5. Approach with friendliness.
6. Smile and maintain eye contact.
7. Pay attention to your body language.
Treating shyness and useful tips on how to connect with others
Part Four in Treating Shyness: Challenge Yourself
1. Set specific goals for yourself
2. Do what you enjoy
3. Practice placing yourself in uncomfortable situations
4. Introduce yourself to a new person daily
5. Get involved in the community
6. Record your successes and keep going down that path
Shyness in Adults
How to Overcome Shyness?
