A problem calledMother-in-law’s interference in child-rearing
How can we interact with our mother-in-law forchild-rearing?Would you like to know how to deal with your mother-in-law when raising your child? We often hear that relationships between husband and wife change when a child comes into the picture.
The new arrival consumes a lot of parents’ time, effort, and energy, leading to a shift in their relationships with everyone around them. No matter how close or distant your relationship is with your mother-in-law, this dynamic changes with your child’s arrival and may worsen.
For centuries, child-rearing has varied across generations; with educated mothers and newer research, modern mothers often have parenting approaches that differ greatly from those of their older counterparts.
A common frustration arises between young and older women when it comes to baby food, an issue that has never been this contentious. For instance, a family member or mother-in-law might find it perfectly fine for children to get their faces dirty with a biscuit cake orchocolate cakewhile mothers can be worried about the amount of sugar their little ones consume.
Such differences in opinions often lead to conflicts between generations, especially between new mothers and their mothers-in-law. But don’t worry; with tips provided in this section ofSelMagzeven this seemingly impossible situation can be resolved with some understanding and support.
1. Understand that they mean well:
Problems arise when individuals believe they are right. The reality is that health and safety of infants mean different things to different people, and no one wants to do something that could harm a child.
The first step in dealing with older relatives is to understand them well and truly believe that their intentions are good and that they genuinely care about our child. They are just trying to offer help based on their experiences and beliefs.
2. Consult pediatricians together:
Take your mother-in-law or other relatives with you and your spouse for pediatric visits. Discussing your child’s issues together can help clarify doubts and provide a more straightforward approach for the family in caring for the baby. Nobody wants to oppose doctors’ advice or put the children’s health at risk!
3. Say no to cold wars:
It’s important whenever there’s a disagreement between you and your elders to communicate. Regardless of how appealing the silent treatment or cold war seems, it only worsens the situation and creates an unhealthy environment at home.
Engage in open discussions with your relatives without accusing or speaking poorly, and provide your reasons, especially if they are standing by traditional norms.
4. Keep a cool pack handy:
It’s essential to maintain your composure for better relationships and greater peace of mind, which is vital for your overall mental health. Having a new baby can be full ofstressso the last thing you need is a trigger that causes you to explode, so the next time you feel like blowing up, use a cool pack to calm down—for your own sake and your baby’s!
5. This is always our child:
Your concerns about your child’s health are understandable, but it’s also important to recognize that other family members love your child too and want to help. Allow them to participate in activities like massages, bathing, and putting the baby to sleep, among others.
This helps them feel valued and useful, and they will appreciate you more than if you continually say “no.” As they engage in caring for your children, their bond with the little one will grow, and as we all agree, babies can never have too much love!
When you’re sleep-deprived and in a constant cycle of napping and feeding, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, and any advice or help might seem like interference. However, all you need to do is change your approach slightly and accept the offers of help; we know how much you need them!
Assistance from elders can be a great advantage for the mother and the new baby, and a strong bond between the three can create a happy and loving atmosphere for everyone in the home.
