Ways to Cope withDeath of a Spouseand managing the grief of being apart from them
One of the worries andstressthat many people face is the death of loved ones, especially when it comes to the thought of losing a spouse. Almost half of people who are married worldwide have gone through the experience of losing their spouse. Therefore, in this section of Family PlusSelMagzwe introduce solutions to help you cope with the loss of your spouse more easily.
Ways to Cope with the Death of a Spouse
Accept the loss
Some events in life are very painful, with the loss of a spouse being one of them. It may still be hard for you to accept this reality. On one hand, you want to continue living, but on the other, you may not be trying hard enough. It’s best to acknowledge that your spouse is no longer with you, but you have the right to live on.
Mourning is not a bad thing
If you have lost your spouse, you will certainly need the empathy of others. Without the empathy of others, you may feel confused and uncertain because half of your being is gone. As a result, you should not isolate yourself. Mourning is one of the best ways to express your emotions and thoughts. It is an important part of your physical and mental healing process.
Your inner grief is only yours
No one else, except for you and your spouse, has experienced this relationship. Therefore, no one can truly put themselves in your shoes. Don’t expect others to understand you too much. Avoid comparing your experience with others, and do not get upset if someone doesn’t understand you.
Express your thoughts and feelings
Always honestly express your sadness and grief. When you share your sorrow with others, you speed up your healing process. Don’t be afraid to talk about your emotions and thoughts. Try to spend time with a trusted friend and engage in activities you both enjoy. Allow feelings of joy and sadness to flow within you without overly battling them. If you make too much effort to ignore your grief, you will get the opposite result. It’s better to express your feelings and clear your mind.
Expect mixed emotions
The death of a spouse will certainly impact your emotions and mental well-being. Therefore, you may experience various feelings at the same time. It also requires a lot of energy and effort from you. You may feel confusion, fear, guilt, andangeroverwhelm you simultaneously. Remember that going through this process is completely natural, and don’t be afraid to express those feelings.
Benefit from the support of others
One of the best things that can help us during these times is the presence of friends and family. These individuals can understand you better than others and be a listening ear for your feelings and thoughts. Steer clear of people who constantly talk about sad and distressing topics, and seek out those who support and understand you. They should also be striving for your happiness.
Be patient with your emotional and physical limitations
You might feel frustrated that your spouse is not by your side, and your patience may be running thin. However, it’s wise to clear your mind and make better decisions. Your energy level has decreased now. So, pay attention to your mind and body and see what needs you have. Take daily breaks. Eat balanced meals. Let go of guilt and try to plan for activities you enjoy as much as possible.
Spend time caring for your spouse’s belongings
If the belongings left by your spouse comfort you, be sure to give them attention. You should not force yourself to distance from them. No one can take your wishes away from you. Others should not make decisions on your behalf or take them away from you. Having your spouse’s belongings will not harm your spirit. So don’t limit yourself.
Occasions like anniversaries or birthdays can be the hardest days
Special occasions like wedding anniversaries or birthdays may be the toughest days for you because your spouse is not by your side. It’s better to spend such days with a group of friends and strengthen your connections with them.
Keep your memories in your heart
Memories are one of our best treasures of those we have lost. These treasures can soothe your pain during tough and lonely times and aid in your healing. If you wish, share these memories with a trusted person. Sometimes they may cause you sadness and tears, but it’s better to keep them in your heart and continue your life. Healing from a problem or difficulty never means forgetting. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself to forget the past.
Seek spirituality and connection with God
Spirituality is a part of everyone’s life that can help during the hardest moments. So, be around believing individuals and try to take advantage of their support and experiences. In tough times, only God can be the balm for your pain. So turn to Him. Talk to people who do not judge your life events and who serve as a bridge to your connection with God.
Grief and sorrow move together
To regain your well-being, you must go through this path. There is no set timeframe that shows how long you will feel sad, but try to live with it. Feeling sorrow is just a process, just like other life events, which you will get through. So give yourself time and be patient. Create good moments with your friends. Rest assured that grief will eventually give way to greater joys in the near future.
Signs and symptoms of chronic grief
The loss of a spouse marks a big change in your life, and feeling sorrow is a natural reaction following that event. However, sometimes these feelings become overwhelming and hinder your ability to continue with life. An ongoing wound may arise with the following symptoms:
- Complete lack of purpose in life
- Inability to carry out daily activities
- Experiencing persistent feelings of guilt and self-blame for the death of your spouse
- Wishing for death
- Having the desire to die in place of your spouse
- Losing the desire to spend time in social settings
If you notice the above symptoms in yourself, make sure to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist about it and improve your well-being.
