Toxic positivityWhat is pretending to be happy?
Toxic positivity means showing an excessive amount of happiness and foolish optimism that leads to a denial of life’s realities. It refers to an over-the-top happiness that isn’t impactful and represents a form of extremism in positivity, which can excessively elevate your focus and suppress your feelings. We all know that positivity has great power. While we try to be positive in life, at times these positive vibrations can work against us and may even be destructive. In this part ofSelMagzwe intend to discuss pretending to be happy or false and toxic positivity.
Symptoms of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity has various symptoms, which we will introduce to you here:
- Hiding or masking true emotions
- A tendency to hide feelings
- Not using others’ experiences
- Trying to overly positive opinions and ideas instead of valuing current emotional experiences
- Overlooking what causes pain
- Not addressing problems
- Feeling embarrassed to express disappointments and negative thoughts
- Feeling guilty for negative feelings
Examples of Toxic Positivity and Pretending to be Happy
Imagine something bad has happened to you, like losing your job, and others tell you to just think positively or to see the glass as half full. While these comments often come from a place of concern, they might silence something within you, making it hard for you to share your feelings and express your sadness.
Or after losing something, some people might say that everything happens for a reason, but such phrases only serve to comfort themselves because they are trying to distance themselves quickly from reality.
For instance, when you’re feeling hopeless or sad, you might hear that happiness in life is a choice. It’s true that happiness largely depends onusbut when we are genuinely upset about something, we can’t simply choose to be happy.
Effects and Dangers; Why is Toxic Positivity Harmful?
Embarrassment
When someone insists on a forced positive outlook, they usually remain silent about their struggles. None of us want to face negative situations after being positive. In fact, we feel embarrassed to admit that our positivity hasn’t worked and that we’ve still encountered bad events. As a result, we continuously seek denial and hiding, feeling ashamed of expressing the truth.
Suppressed Emotions
Many studies show that hiding or denying emotions leads tostressthat builds up in the body and disturbs our thoughts. People have suppressed emotions; even while watching a sad movie, they may refuse to cry because they don’t want to disrupt their positivity, pretending that nothing bothers them. This is a major factor in toxic positivity. It’s crucial that we first accept how we truly feel and not cover it up. Whenwe accept negative emotionswe can easily move past them, and suppressing feelings is never the right approach.
Isolation and Relationship Problems
Denying the truth keeps us away from reality. Many people may walk away from us, leading to our fragility. Therefore, try first to accept your problems and acknowledge the truths in your relationships so you don’t become isolated and lonely. Think about the realities of a relationship and strive to express your feelings honestly, without pretending to be better than you are.
Instilling Guilt
When individuals experience toxic positivity, they cannot express their sad feelings. When they want to share their internal emotions like despair and sadness, they feel guilty and this negatively affects their well-being, causing an increase in their negative feelings.
Preventing Personal Growth
Toxic positivity keeps you distant from the realities of life. This continually leads you toward denial and prevents you from challenging yourself, hindering personal growth.
Solutions; How to Avoid Toxic Positivity?
If you’ve identified such behavior in yourself, there are strategies that can help you lead a healthier, more supportive life. Some ideas include what you will read in the following parts of SelMagz:
Manage your negative feelings, but don’t deny them
Negative feelings can lead to stress. On the other hand, they provide you with important information that may change your life. So, try to manage them.
Be realistic about your feelings
When faced with a stressful situation, it’s completely natural for fear and worry to overwhelm you. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Focus on self-care and taking steps to improve your situation and life.
It’s entirely natural to have a range of emotions
If you encounter a challenge, you may feel an overwhelming sense of worry mixed with sadness and excitement. All these feelings come together, and you can’t express how you feel with just one word.
Listen to the advice of those around you and appreciate their support
When you experience difficult emotions, be careful that the people around you don’t push you too much into toxic positivity. On the other hand, accept their advice as you may find your decision-making ability declining, and you might need their help.
