Main and most importantChallenges of shared life
When two individuals with different family backgrounds get married and start living together, they face many challenges due to separation from their homes, growing responsibilities, and commitments to each other, especially in the early years.
If couples possess high emotional resilience, flexibility, and effective communication skills, they can overcome these tensions and challenges to maintain a stable life. Some issues that we present in this section from Family Plus.SelMagzcreate challenges for many young couples and are considered difficulties in shared life.
Poor communication
If couples cannot establish effective communication, their shared life encounters difficulties as many problems stem from lack of communication between the parties.
How to communicate with a spouse
When one spouse discusses their feelings and expectations, the other should not be distracted by the TV, mobile phone, or a sports event. Instead, they should silence their phone, send the children to their room, choose a quiet place for conversation, and fully focus on what their spouse is saying, using body language to show agreement.
Birth of the first child
The birth of the first child changes the dynamics of shared life as parents shift their attention to the child. Sometimes one spouse becomes overly focused on the child, leading to neglect of the other, resulting in difficulties in the marriage.
To regain focus on each other, couples must not miss opportunities, give each other attention again, and involve one another in childcare.
Prior to marriage, it’s beneficial for couples to have the necessary knowledge about parenting to avoid issues once they have children.
Not prioritizing the spouse
One significant challenge in shared life is when one spouse prioritizes family or a family member over their partner, causing the spouse to feel neglected. For example, a husband may give preference to his mother’s opinion in decisions.
This behavior clouds the couple’s relationship and creates conflict. To resolve this, couples should spend quality time like in the early days of their relationship, express love, and show respect to each other, proving that their partner is important to them.
Differences inchild-rearing
When children are born, parents face another challenge in their shared life known as child-rearing. Parents wish to do the best for their children, but some experience conflicts and differences in parenting styles that increase their stress and pressures in life.Mental healthThis can jeopardize their mental well-being.
To navigate parenting effectively as a united front, couples should seek necessary education on child-rearing before their child is born to reach agreements.
Busyness
With marriage, couples gain new roles and responsibilities. If they fail to adapt to the new responsibilities and conditions, they may experience tensions and difficulties in their shared life.
Individuals facing increased busyness often struggle to cope with daily stresses and may experience lower moods, irritability, and conflicts with each other.Managingstress
To resolve these issues and enjoy a peaceful shared life, couples should practice stress management and enhance their emotional capacity to remain calm in the face of various life anxieties.Working spouseOne factor that intensifies the challenges of life is when both partners have busy schedules. For instance, if the wife works and must also manage household duties and children.The increased workload can lead to one spouse becoming exhausted, reducing their ability to cope with difficulties.To easily alleviate this burden, both partners should adopt a fresh, healthy outlook on shared life, divide responsibilities fairly, and bring more organization to their daily lives, reducing the impact of overwhelming tasks.
Changing perceptions and seeing negative traits
Some couples focus only on each other’s flaws and overlook their positive qualities.
Such individuals tend to have low psychological flexibility and are constantly trying to change their partner, which harms both spouses and creates tension in their relationship.
Overcoming negativity
To address this issue, couples need to pay attention to each other’s positive traits and accept each other as they are while working on their own personal growth and positive change.
Unemployment of one spouse
One challenge some couples face in shared life is the loss of employment by one partner.
Unemployment can lead to feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy in supporting the family, disrupting communication with the working spouse, resulting in a loss of balance and harmony in the relationship.
Caring for a parent
Another challenge in shared life is caring for elderly parents. If you are the sole caregiver and have elderly parents who need consistent attention, you may end up neglecting your spouse due to the time required for care.
Neglecting the spouse while solely playing the role of caregiver can lead to significant challenges in shared life, causing frustration for your partner.
Despite your many obligations, take time to sit with your spouse and discuss your feelings and changes in life. Also, allocate some time for self-care to prevent feelings of apathy and
irritation.
Solutions to the challenges of shared life
How you handle problems and hardships can help you build a more durable shared life.
Seek counseling:If you don’t know how to deal with the challenges in your shared life, overcome them, and experience a durable partnership, consider visiting a family counselor or psychologist to improve your personal and communication skills.Note:
It’s advisable to consult a counselor before marriage to learn more about each other’s stable personality traits to respond effectively to future issues.
Marriage problems
Marital challenges
Financial issues
Financial problems with a spouseCaring for parents
