Reasons why men depend on their families and how to solve this issue
Certainly, many of us believe that marriage is the start of a new and beautiful life and can bring ushappinessand many good things. But after marriage, not everything goes as planned, and we become disappointed because we don’t expect small or big problems. Some women face the issue that their husbands prefer their families over them. What do you think is the reason for this, and what should be done in such situations?
Why do men prioritize their family over their wife?
Of course, it feels bad when your husband cares more about his family than about you, and this causes you pain. When boundaries are weak and the wife is not the top priority for her husband, he tends to seek comfort in his family. There are various reasons for this family prioritization, which we discuss further in Family Plus section.SelMagzWe will discuss that.
Sometimes a man feels guilty for not being with his family
Before marriage, we all spend our lives with our families and get used to them. Some men act as the head of their family, and as a result, after marriage, they may think they should spend more time taking care of their family, making family their top priority.
He wants to keep peace
Some men feel tension between themselves and their wives in the family environment. So, they try to pay more attention to their family to prove they are still like they were before marriage, and to avoid conflicts, keeping everything peaceful.
He is dependent on his mother
Some sons are excessively dependent on their mothers for various reasons. Even after marriage, they continue this dependence, making their mother their top priority.
The typical signs of such husbands include wanting to contact their mother every day, preferring their mother over their wife and children, not wanting to leave their mother’s home, making decisions without her opinion, and being financially and economically dependent on her.
They have lived a long time with their parents
Generally, sons who marry later have spent more time living with their parents and tend to be more dependent on them. Even after marriage, they prefer to stay close to their parents.
They have lived under the same roof before
Sometimes, it becomes very difficult for us when our wife prefers her family over us. But she thinks that she lived a long and happy childhood with her family under one roof, so how could she not prioritize them?
Solutions: What actions can be taken?
Next, we introduce some strategies to follow if you are not the top priority for your husband and he prefers his family over you:
Communicate with your husband
Long-term relationships require honesty. The first step is to honestly express your feelings—done calmly and without arguments. Try to share everything you feel or think clearly and peacefully. Also, reassure your husband that you do not harbor any hostility towards his family and you like them.
You’re a team
When you get married, you’re a team. This team includes your husband’s family as well. So, try to strengthen your relationship with them. Build mutual trust with your husband’s family so they see you as part of their family.
Your husband is still a child of his family
No matter how old your husband is, he has responsibilities and strong emotional ties to his family. It’s not possible to completely separate him from them.
Let go of anger and hatred towards your husband
Forget about yelling or arguing about this issue. The more you complain, the worse it gets. Try to express your feelings calmly and avoid feeling anger or hatred towards your husband.
Your husband needs to decide
In the end, it is up to your husband to decide to change. You can’t change him unless he wants to. He chooses who his top priority is—this is his right. Support and understand him in every situation.
Pay attention to the circumstances
Sometimes your husband’s family is facing issues like death, illness, or financial problems, which involve everyone. In such cases, your husband has the right to stay close to his family. So, consider the situation and try to understand him.
Seek help from a counselor
If you feel your husband will never prioritize you and everything has become abnormal, and you cannot improve the situation through honest communication, it’s better to seek help from a professional counselor.
