DuringArguing with your husbandFollow these steps
Arguing with your husband happens to all couples, whether they are deeply in love or just have normal relationships. If couples know how to argue healthily, disagreements can actually help their growth and progress. In this section from SelMagz,we explain healthy ways to argue with your spouse.What to do during an argument with your wife?
How should healthy arguing with your wife look?
Change and growth are key features of living beings. All living creatures change over time, experiencing things like illness, feeling good, or happiness. Additionally, aging causes behavioral changes. For example, an eighty-year-old man acts differently from a young person, and if he tries to imitate youthful behaviors, his body can be harmed.
Marriage is also like a living being that can become dull or sick. Disagreements are natural in married life and can sometimes lead to growth and development. It’s almost impossible for a couple to have no differences in taste unless their life has become stagnant or ended entirely.
Disagreements can promote growth when we learn to express our opinions and communicate properly. Next, we will review how to discuss and argue with your spouse, but first, note that not all disagreements end a marriage — only if we don’t know the right way to argue.
Ways to properly discuss and argue with your wife
Healthy ways to argue with your wife
How giving others a say during disputes often leads to larger conflicts, which happens in two main ways:
First situation
In this case, couples involve their families in their disputes, often blaming each other’s relatives. For example, many women attribute their husband’s words to his family, saying things like: “He didn’t say that for himself; his mother or sister must have said it.” Or some men insult the wife’s family during arguments, such as saying: “You’re unreasonable and don’t understand, just like your mother or brother.” Such comments can turn small disagreements into large family conflicts and threaten the marriage’s stability.
What are the causes of arguments between husband and wife?
Second situation
Sometimes, involving others to judge or mediate, even if they are parents of the couple, can intensify the conflict because these individuals often cannot judge impartially.
Therefore, during fights, couples should resolve issues themselves without involving others like family members. They need to understand that the problem is just between them, not their families. They should communicate to settle the issue, and if they cannot, they should seek help from professionals or counselors.
Mistakes to avoid during arguments with your spouse
Arguing Healthily with Your Partner!
Express your wishes clearly and calmly
Sometimes, couples have requests that they express poorly, which can lead to conflicts.
ShoutingExpressing requests normally is fine, but avoid using certain negative phrases or trying to force your wishes by threatening the relationship. For example, don’t tell your spouse that their acceptance of your request depends on staying in the relationship or accepting your terms. Such comments make your partner question whether your relationship depends on these small disagreements, leading to negativity and doubt about the marriage’s longevity.Remember that the value of marriage is much greater than these small issues. Before raising your request, speak about the importance of your relationship and then make your point, such as: “I know our bond is very precious, and my request is meant to make our life stronger and better.”
Arguing because of a poor way of expressing demands
Best ways to argue with your spouse
Using certain words during arguments is forbidden
During disagreements, avoid words like “never,” “always,” or “ever,” because these negative phrases target the entire life and create damage. For example, avoid saying: “You’ve never been a good husband,” “You never loved me,” “You always curse,” “You’ve never respected my family,” or “I’ve seen no good from you.”
Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who tells her husband she sees no good in him excludes herself from blessings and her actions become void.” Avoid such phrases to prevent negative consequences and discouragement in your relationship.
Wrong phrases to avoid during arguments with your wife
Common mistakes during disputes with your spouse
Steer clear of comparing your spouse with others
Sometimes, we forget that after a disagreement, we still need to stay connected. A small fight doesn’t end a marriage, which is why we often ruin previous bridges and say things we shouldn’t, crossing red lines.
One of these red lines is comparing your spouse to others. Sometimes, people start praising others or making sarcastic remarks about each other, which causes deep heartbreak that’s hard to heal.
Avoid comparing your spouse to others during conflicts
What to do during arguments with your spouse?
Confide carefully and avoid sharing family secrets with outsiders
Sharing family secrets or personal feelings with strangers can seriously harm your marriage and your future. Some people talk about their problems with outsiders before separation, which can lead to the destruction of their life both here and in the afterlife.
End arguments quickly
Try to finish disputes quickly and postpone further discussion to a better time when both are calmer, to prevent unnecessary anger.
Don’t overthink after a fight. It’s wrong to dwell on issues discussed during an argument. Instead, erase all criticisms and conflicts from your mind, and conclude the disagreement with a beautiful flower and loving gestures to end the dispute and any resentment.Arguing with your husbandProper ways to argue with your wife
