Easily and smartly resolve mother-in-law interference in your life
It has been commonly said that mothers-in-law love their sons-in-law because every mother wishes for the happiness andwell-beingof her daughter and knows that her son-in-law can fulfill this wish, so she loves him like her own son.
Furthermore, because the mother-in-law and son-in-law are two different characters from opposite genders, their relationship is usually better than that of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Unfortunately, in some cases, mother-in-laws unconsciously feel jealousy about the new relationship that their daughter and son-in-law build after marriage, as they see the daughter they have raised for years now depending on her husband. In the continuation of this section fromSelMagzwe will introduce you to ways to manage your relationship with your mother-in-law appropriately and behave suitably, as an alternative to divorce and separation.
You should know that many couples also exist who, feeling no interference from the families, try to isolate themselves from the beginning of their marital life and start creating family challenges. Many disputes may arise from the couple’s mutual behavior and not from any interference.
Ways to deal with your mother-in-law and her interference in your life
How to prevent our spouse’s mother from interfering in our lives?
Clear your mind
In our society, the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law is portrayed negatively, and part of the conflicts arises from these perceptions. The primary effort and motivation of mothers-in-law is to help foster good relationships between young men and women.
They want to assist you in resolving problems rather than ruining their daughter’s life; thus, it is better to approach issues with a realistic perspective and maintain a positive outlook on relationships and connections.
For example, if your mother-in-law asks, “Why do you go to a restaurant every week?” your interpretation could be twofold; either she is jealous of your happiness together, or she is concerned for her child’s family and wants you to save your money, or… So, it’s better to try to view matters positively.
Sometimes, ignore both seeing and hearing
At times, you may hear certain things but choose to ignore them. No mother-in-law deliberately intends to destroy her daughter’s home. Thus, disregard the traditional role of a mother-in-law, which often involves interference for supervision. Patience and ignoring some issues is essential for maintaining peace and respect.
How to deal with mother-in-law’s interference
Mother-in-law interferenceHow to ignore it?
Say yes and go on with your business
At times, you can’t act as if you didn’t hear because the mother-in-law’s interference is overt and insistent. In these situations, outwardly comply with her requests, but later act according to your and your spouse’s opinions. This may seem insincere, but you have no choice but to pick between the lesser of two evils.
You can either ignore your parents’ or your spouse’s parents’ words and create tension or appear to comply with their requests and then do what you truly intend.
Do not blame your spouse
Sometimes, mother-in-law interventions can sour your relationship with your spouse and cause arguments. Conflicts arise when partners hold each other accountable for family interferences and direct their resentment toward each other. So, never place the blame for your mother-in-law’s interference on your spouse to avoid adding tension to your life.
Remember, your mother-in-law is your spouse’s mother
The deepest emotional bond for anyone is with their mother; thus, never forget that they cannot set their mother aside. As mentioned in SelMagz, she is the woman who raised them, so you can’t restrict your spouse’s visits to their mother, as this would significantly harm your relationship.
Communicate with your spouse at the right time
At a suitable time when both you and your spouse are relaxed, discuss family behaviors with your spouse, using phrases that can prevent misunderstandings and reduce any possible defensiveness from your partner.
Do not attribute unpleasant behaviors to bad intentions
Sometimes, we attribute many positive or neutral behaviors to ill intentions, making them seem bothersome and unbearable. To reduce your negative feelings and maintain a fair view, avoid attributing your mother-in-law’s annoying behaviors to bad intentions, and instead, always consider the cultural differences and varying perspectives between you and them.
What to do about mother-in-law interference?
Advice for women about their mother’s interference
Reduce your dependency on your mother
Daughters who are dependent on their mothers should quickly work on reducing this dependency and strive to establish a relationship where neither party feels hurt, and the constant interventions do not lead to marital discontent.
Parents should remain peripheral in couples’ lives
A woman plays a very important role in reducing or escalating tension between her husband and mother-in-law. If a woman encounters her mother’s unnecessary interference and feels they harm her relationship with her husband, she should respectfully ask her mother to remain on the sidelines of her life (rather than being in the middle of it).
Mother-in-law interference and how to deal with it
Do not share your life details with your mother
Sometimes, women inadvertently pave the way for their mother’s interference by confiding in them. Therefore, young women should not share their life’s details with their mothers, as the mother may try to find solutions that may not sit well with the son-in-law, perceiving it as interference.
