Rules for getting upset between couples; there’s a way to be upset with your partner
Arguments and disagreements are considered a spice of married life. However, how we communicate and mistakenly use words can cause serious harm in both partners’ minds, ruining the marital relationship. Words play a crucial role in marital relationships, so using certain phrases during conflicts with your spouse is prohibited. To know which phrases to avoid during arguments and upsets, continue reading this section from Family Plus.SelMagzRead it.
Insulting families is prohibited
Some couples, during arguments, try to provoke their partner further. They may insult their spouse’s family, which can lead to severe consequences, creating grudges and resentments that can break the foundation of their married life.
Bringing up past issues is prohibited
Another mistake couples make during arguments is bringing up past issues. The best approach is to discuss the current topic without dragging in previous disagreements, as this can lead to increased conflict and damage the marital relationship.
Skipping dinner is prohibited
Some couples, after a little disagreement, refuse to cook or eat together. However, since mature individuals should handle conflicts better, all family members should still come together for meals after an upset.
Changing sleeping arrangements is prohibited
No one should change their sleeping place after a fight or disagreement. In a healthy relationship, couples do not change their sleeping arrangements after an argument nor sleep separately.
Not greeting or saying goodbye is prohibited
Greeting and saying goodbye are always necessary, so after an argument, remember to greet each other and say goodbye.
Interrupting your spouse is prohibited
In healthy relationships, even during disagreements, couples give each other the chance to express their views about the topic. If you want your relationship to remain stable, allow each other to speak during conflicts and don’t interrupt.
Generalizing your partner’s mistakes is prohibited
During arguments, it’s not right to generalize your partner’s mistakes. For example, saying “you always…” is prohibited, as it heightens the conflict.
Using derogatory terms is prohibited
Some words carry degrading, insulting, and personality-destroying connotations, so using terms like “ugly,” “fat,” “skinny,” “rude,” or anything else that targets your partner’s character is forbidden.
Bringing up weaknesses is prohibited
During intense conflicts, avoid mentioning your partner’s weaknesses. Doing so only adds injury; your partner may feel hurt twice—once for the argument and again for recalling something that should not have been mentioned.
Other wrong phrases
- Don’t say, “Why do you get upset so quickly, just toughen up?!” This statement will only fuel the fire of their upset.
- Don’t say, “Your mother did this” and so on. Instead of insulting or belittling, if you’re upset with your spouse’s family, discuss it calmly and explain the reason for your feelings.
- When talking about your spouse’s past, avoid discussing any weak points or issues, as you have already been aware and reached an agreement about them.
- Don’t say, “I don’t like your job,” or “What income is that? Mine is better,” or “If I married someone else, they’d have a better job and income.” These statements can hurt a man’s pride.
- Never compare your spouse’s looks or body to anyone else, nor ask them to be like someone else.
- Don’t say, “You’re watching TV again and don’t care about us,” or “How much time are you spending on your phone? Spend some time with the kids.” Instead of using negative phrases, speak positively and ask them to join you.
- Do not destroy the boundaries between you, and do not create conflict through unnecessary curiosity and prying.
- Don’t say, “All women or all men are alike.” Stop these stereotypes.
- Don’t say, “Whatever makes you comfortable.” This expression can irritate people and leads to tension and conflict.
- Don’t say, “You’ve tired me out,” “See, now you understand,” “You should have made mistakes and then you would have understood,” “Be a man,” etc. Have respect for each other and communicate respectfully.
