Relationship Don’tsInteracting with your spouse’s family
One of the most important topics after marriage is how to communicate with your spouse’s family. Proper behavior with your spouse’s family and managing these relationships greatly impacts your shared life. Contrary to what many young people believe, marriage is not just about living with one person; families also have a significant influence. From the beginning of your life together, it is wise to behave appropriately toward your spouse’s family and avoid certain actions. If you want to know the don’ts of interacting and engaging with your spouse’s family, check out this section of Family Plus.SelMagzPlease read.
Don’t get too close:
In another article on SelMagz Lifestyle, we discussed the importance of maintaining balance in your relationship with your spouse’s family, advising against excessive closeness. Over-familiarity can be destructive, so maintain your boundaries and allow the relationship to develop naturally.
Don’t involve others:
Avoid using a third party to communicate your messages. If someone bothers you, address them directly as soon as possible to prevent misunderstandings.
Show respect:
Always respect your spouse’s family and maintain that respect in all situations. Respecting them does not mean being passive or following everything they say; rather, listen to them and try to understand their perspectives.
Don’t judge:
Judge people based on their personalities and actions, not preconceived notions. If you maintain a biased or prejudiced view towards your spouse’s relatives based on hearsay or assumptions, you will likely make incorrect judgments. Work to eliminate these preconceived ideas.
Avoid untimely criticisms:
Unwise or harsh criticism can be detrimental, causing bitterness and hurt. Even if your complaints are justified, if they come at the wrong time and with a harsh tone, your words can hurt others. Criticism given out of anger or at an inappropriate time is always harmful.
Don’t leave your child in the care of your spouse’s family:
Looking after your child is not the responsibility of your spouse’s family. Even if they are willing to help, it’s not their duty. Avoid relying on them for childcare, as this might lead to conflicts and they may impose their views on your child’s upbringing.
Don’t interfere in your spouse’s relationships with their family:
When your spouse is discussing personal matters with their family that do not concern you, refrain from interfering. Even if they argue, do not react—focus on something else to maintain your dignity.
Be kind:
Always show kindness to your spouse’s family and appreciate their efforts. Those who are ungrateful often take others’ kindness for granted.
Don’t be an uninvited guest:
Some individuals frequently spend time at their in-laws’ home and, feeling comfortable, stay without an invitation. Undefined or unconditional relationships can lead to conflicts between spouses. Understanding how to interact with your spouse’s family is crucial for avoiding serious disagreements.
Keep your family problems private:
When you have disagreements with your spouse’s family, keep them to yourselves and avoid speaking ill of them behind their backs. Your words might reach them and breed resentment against you. Instead of playing the victim, remain strong and confidently seek a constructive solution.
Don’t talk too much:
Never bring up every detail when interacting with your spouse’s family. Sharing too much about your hopes and future plans can give the impression that you’re seeking their consultation.
Avoid sarcasm:
Speak openly and without sarcasm. Discuss your concerns in a friendly and respectful manner. Many conflicts in relationships stem from misunderstandings due to ambiguous communication.
Set aside unreasonable expectations:
Unrealistic expectations from either side—bride and groom or their families—can greatly hinder healthy relationships. Avoid unnecessary demands like expecting your spouse’s father to always worry about your material situation.
Don’t bring up past grievances:
Hidden grievances can darken relationships. If you held grudges about dowry issues or at your wedding, avoid mentioning them after marriage. To properly engage with your spouse’s family, always consider each meeting as the first time you’re meeting them.
Don’t behave childishly:
Don’t act immaturely; let minor issues go and focus on significant matters. Learn to see things from your spouse’s family’s perspective, and behave maturely even if you disagree.
